The Belated 2012 Film List

The film society I am in is completely run by people not yet paid to see movies. As such, our lists for best films of the year are due around Oscar time in order to allow us to see the most films. I only saw 45 this year and overall, I was generally disappointed with this year’s crop. 2011 was a very strong year, one the strongest in recent memory, in fact. But, 2012 left me feeling bewildered and bored most often. Even my top films of the year have some serious flaws, and my final few I probably will never watch again.  It’s not that these movies were bad, they just weren’t good. Watching movies this year felt like an episode of SNL. It’s fine and all the parts are there, it just doesn’t rise above mediocre. With no more ado I present my top 10, and a couple misc. awards of my own design.

Top 10 of 2012

1. The Master dir. Paul Thomas Anderson
2. Bernie dir. Richard Linklater
3. Moonrise Kingdom dir. Wes Anderson
4. Jiro Dreams of Sushi dir. David Gelb
5. Django Unchained dir. Quentin Tarantino
6. Flight dir. Robert Zemeckis
7. Cloud Atlas dir. Andy & Lana Wachowski and Tim Tykwer
8. Take This Waltz dir. Sarah Polley
9. Killer Joe dir. William Friedkin
10. Skyfall dir. Sam Mendes

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I wrote a thing. The Huffington Post thought it was good. I guess I fooled ‘em.

Comedy References Are Not Why You Don’t “Get It”

So, according to NPR, it’s impossible to make pop-culture references in comedy now without alienating your audience. Unfortunately, this article blows its wad talking about comedic references in a fragmented culture, when it could be using the tired fragmented culture motif to discuss how comedy is changed as a whole.

But, before I get to that, I would like to first make a point on references. Pop-culture references are a comedic gimmick. They are there simply to get a cheap, quick chuckle out of the audience. Or, they’re meant as a loving homage or inside joke on the part of the writer. That’s not to say references are bad, but that is why they are there. References endear you to a show, but they’re not what keeps you watching. What keeps you watching is substantial, genuinely creative comedy and (God willing) characters you care about and are interested in. The author cites the “Lincoln” SNL bit that spoofs Louie:

On a recent episode of Saturday Night Live when the comedian Louis C.K. played host, one skit parodied his eponymous show on F/X. It riffed on the theme song and the discursive style of his comedy.

But here’s the thing: Fewer than 2 million people watch Louie. About 7 million watch Saturday Night Live. That means even optimistically, at least two-thirds of the audience is missing the joke.

What? What’s funny about the Lincoln bit is seeing Abraham Lincoln walk around in today’s modern world, watching him do stand-up, and seeing him awkwardly feel entitled to have black friends. The fact that it’s a spoof of Louieis just an added bonus. It’s the Rainier Cherry on top of a hot fudge sundae in Seattle. It tastes good anywhere, but it has the added benefit of being familiar to a select few.

There is a real ignorance about comedy nowadays - which, is ironic considering we’re living through a comedy boom. People don’t think of comedy as an art form the way they do music. People like to think that comedy is universal. That if it’s funny, it’s funny. But, we also say music is universal, and yet we accept that we won’t like or “get” all music. The comedy scene, like the music scene, is just as fragmented as the rest of society. There are genres of comedy now where 15 to 20 years ago that wasn’t the case. Now, there are indie comics and rock star comics and everything in between. You even have an old guard that sits around and talks about the old days. So, what needs to be understood by people like the author of this NPR article is that not every piece of comedy is meant to make them laugh. Because if you don’t get it at all, that’s fine. You don’t have to, maybe you’re not meant to.

And…

The Perfect Cover

Two and a half years ago I had an idea for a sitcom. It was about deep cover Russian agents living in the US during the Cold War. I wrote it. I registered it with the WGA. I had people read it.  I sent it to agents. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done creatively. I say without reservation that it is great. If you know who I am at all you will know I never feel that way about my work. Tonight I saw a preview for that show. It’s called the Americans. I had nothing to do with its creation. The only difference between it and my show is that it’s a comedy. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip to my 30 Rock. I don’t know if one of the agents I sent it to stole it and gave it to its creator - an ex CIA officer at that. They may have. That doesn’t matter. What matters is it feels like it was stolen. My heart hurts. I’m in pain. I’m in pain partially because I know the greatest thing I’ve ever written will now never come to pass, but more so I am in pain because I put something out there and all that come back was hurt. People tell me I’m emotionally guarded. I am. But, every time I open up I am only hurt by something new and something worse than the last time. I am sick of it.

Everybody’s Working for the Weekend But Me

I’m looking for a new job. At this point I can only assume that even a job at McDonald’s requires 3-5 years experience and a Master’s degree.

When I graduated college I said, “I don’t ever want a real job.” I wanted/still want to be a comedy writer for a living. So, I took shit jobs that allow me to surf the internet all day. 3 years later I have zero experience in anything meaningful, have no real transferable skills, and have gotten next to nowhere in the comedy game - mostly due, I believe, to me being unwilling to “play the game.” Though, I’m also fully aware that I’m not the comic voice of my generation (yet. Seinfeld didn’t get a show until he was 35 so…)

The point is that I would like a job with responsibilities. Not because it’s a backup plan, but because surfing the internet for 8 hours a day is boring and pointless and makes me angry and depressed at my lack of participation in life. But, because I didn’t know this before I worked without responsibility for the last 3 years, I now am unable to get a job with responsibility. Oh the great ouroboros of life.

Letter From My Career Advisor

Dear Michael,

Thanks for writing to me. I always love to offer a little advice to the next generation. So, you’d like to be a spy? Well, I’m going to tell you right now that you should stop telling people you want to be a spy. It’s probably a good idea not to mention this correspondence on your blog either. In fact, you should stop having a blog. That shit will come around to bite you in the ass. I’ve seen it happen. “But, social media can topple governments and install democracies,” you say. I say, “I know. That’s exactly the problem.”

This is a tough job, OK? You don’t sleep much, so you apologizing in your letter for your bad grammar on account of the fact that you didn’t sleep much the night before is already a bad sign. By the way, I did a little digging into what you were doing the night before you wrote me. You’re a sick bastard, you know that? That alone might condemn you from the clandestine trade. But, then again, it might help you out.

What’s more this job will have you commiserating with people who are shifty and switch alliances based on situation. Which, you might have experience with since you say you’re involved with “the Arts.” If so, you’ve already got a leg up on the competition. Business guys never do well because they think it’s all about money. Artists know that power is having social influence.

This is an odd segue, but it popped into my head so whatever… You ever listen to jazz? I ask only because I’m thinking about getting into it. I’ve had some free time open up recently and I need a hobby. If so please type up a few ideas in an e-mail draft. I’ve set up a computer alert to let me know anytime you or any other American types the words jazz, Coltrane, or B-Sides. You’d be surprised at how much stuff I have to sift through about Neil Diamond’s “The Jazz Singer.” It’s a fine film and album, but I’m looking for the deep cuts, you know like Coltrane. He’s pretty underground, right?

Anyway, I should get going. I got a meeting with some higher-ups. Before I forget… pertaining your request… I don’t think that will be a possibility. It’s nothing personal, I just don’t like sandwiches or picnics so I don’t know what I’d gain from having one with you.

Ok… see ya… bye…

John Klinsman

P.S. How did you even found out I was a spy?

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A speculative historical account of the Second Civil War.